The Right Answer
凌晨四点 4 A.M
2018年6月1日
消极向生
2019年2月24日
所谓正确答案 是你选择去相信的那一个
这些日子，中央气象台连着发了好几个寒流预警。
最冷的冬日里，不想去温暖的南方。只想在有暖气有阳光的房间，看一出好戏。
想做温室里的花朵，想做家养的猫咪，想做孱弱无力的人类。
不想谈理想自由，因为这可以是终极的自由和最高的理想。
无需锻炼坚强，去抵御不存在的悲苦。任其自甘软弱，来自进化论里的幸福。
用不到的功能，就会自行退化。受威胁的恩赐，就会被迫消失。
非洲的大象，不敢再长象牙。豺狼虎豹，哪有欲望的子弹可怕。
2018年的最后一天了，并不是到了这个时间点，就应该要写个年终总结之类的东西。只是只有这样的时间点，学校和公司都在放假。也就让我有时间，没有犯懒的借口。2018，是我的本命年。有些师傅说，本命年就是要面对大变化的年份。在2017年尾上，我认真地回忆了一下我上一个本命年的经历。不说对2018严阵以待，也至少是必恭必敬。
这一年，的确遇到很多事，但遇到事才发现自己的确早已改变了很多。如果说我妈觉得我真正长大，是我自己开始在北京生活的2010年，那我觉得自己真正成人，大概就是2018年。成为了一个真正意义上的成年人，对世界有了自己应对的方法。不再为一些曾经无法接受的人和事为难自己，毕竟别人可以有自己的选择，而我并不用为他们负担这些后果，每个成年人都不容易，何况还有那么多巨婴。我发现自己真正有了底气，不说自己是最厉害的，但至少也肯定是优秀的。不去逃避和抗拒，放弃了挣扎和挑衅，而是学会了轻松地面对那些喜欢的讨厌的难堪的尴尬的。
在北京温暖的租屋里，断断续续地睡了一整日。
迷迷糊糊地，在梦境和被猫吵醒之间辗转。这让我想到圣诞前去看的如梦之梦。
这是我第四次看如梦之梦，完全是托了五号的福。也是第一次坐在了剧院里莲花池。
开演前我说，我伸一下腿，就可以拌你一脚，他回说，请高台贵脚。
我还记得在798没有暖气的排练场里，这一版如梦第一次的总排练。
每年圣诞都会去后台打个招呼。这也好像是每年仅有的和五号的碰面。
有一年我说我打算去英国念书了，他说他也想考虑一下。旁人问我，为什么不去做戏剧，他说，她啊还是做音乐挺好的。
又一年我申请上了圣马丁的研究生了，那年他去了美国。我问他演了那么多年如梦，到底讲了什么故事。他反问我，我说了一个让他拍案叫绝的答案。
再一年我坐在莲花池里，他是台上的五号。他今年改了点演法，不知道观众有没有发现。他说今年他把我那年讲的答案跟很多演员都讲了，大家都觉得我说的对，虽然导演讳莫如深。
熊浩在奇葩说里引用邓布利多的话说，真实生活里往往不是the right way和 the wrong way的问题，而都是the right way和 the easy way的问题。
但是答案Answer啊，是另一说。有的时候，最简单的，就是答案。所谓正确答案，并不是官宣声明里的，也不是答题册最后那几页上的，而是你选择去相信的那个。
五号说我真的记性太好了，恩，我只记得我想记得的事。
2019年，我要花一年的时间写毕业论文，然后从UAL毕业。这三年的求学，认识了很多人，也打开了我一些心结。刚翻到2012年，第一次去伦敦发的微博。
那次旅行改变了我的人生路径。Life，if you know how to use it，is long。
来吧，2019，Be My Year.
75 Comments
好想在广州看见五号的演出
飞一飞也是值得的，如果买得到票
2019，可能会是我人生的一个拐点。将心中决定告知他人，想以此坚定决心，总觉得说出口的话，就再没有反悔余地。2018让我又勇敢了一些，希望2019能让我配得上也担得起那个right answer…
看完文章便想说说心里话，愿fish2019得偿所愿，快乐如常～
给你点赞~~只要当下的自己问心无愧就行了。
今年的五号确实不一样，但是讲不清具体那不一样，就是很有气场收放自如的样子，所以你讲的答案到底是什么啊？说一半留一半读者很难受的=͟͟͞͞ʕ•̫͡•ʔ
每个人心里都有自己的答案不是很好吗哈哈。我的也不是标准答案，自己相信自己找到的答案就好
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